VR Porn Threesome Reviews #5: Geeks, Part 1

Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment: most of us men are hopeless geeks. We enjoy watching sports and know a lot of statistics about our favorite teams and athletes, we take pride in our collections of things whose objective utility would be hard to explain or define, we tend to get obsessed with films and TV series, and for all the cases enumerated we allow the merchandise industry to grab our hard-earned money. Oh, have I mentioned about how we seem to display a special affinity towards fictional universe, just like grown-up kids who never got over their favorite fairytales?

The drawback of it all is that most of the times these geeky hobbies of ours can be subject of embarrassment when we talk to ladies. Sure, we like to brag to our buddies about the vintage collection of Star Wars action figures, but we most certainly wouldn’t tell that to a beautiful lady who agreed to go out on a date with us. What will she think if she finds out that we still like sleeping in Justice League of America bed sheets? Also, it’s very unlikely that they will have a good opinion about our Star Trek DVD collection or our obsession with the pre-Special Edition Star Wars films (because really, the originals were a lot better!).

Two beautiful babes dressed in R2-D2 costumes? It all seems too good to be true! Image Source: VirtualRealPorn/VRPorn.com.

Therefore, in this very unlikely equation of scoring a threesome with two beautiful ladies, being an out-of-the-closet and outspoken geek largely reduces our chances of scoring. However, TV shows like The Big Bang Theory have shown us that there are a lot of hot girls who enjoy the geeky stuff, and even if you’re an absolute hopeless loser who can’t take pride in anything special in terms of manhood or manliness, you can still seduce your hot blonde waitress neighbor and hook up with her.

A new hope (pun intended) arises each time we walk into the comic book store and see a pretty lady who’s investigating and scrutinizing the shelves for something rare and vintage stuff, but somehow she appears to be distant, in a very unreachable galaxy far, far away, where she meets more interesting men and has more eclectic tastes than you do. There is also a huge community of lady cosplayers who use their unquestionable cuteness to dominate the internet, but I have no idea how you can even get to talk to one or where to meet one. I don’t even know anybody who remotely knows one of those beautiful cosplayers who take your breath away with their larger-than life representations of fictional characters.

Luckily for us all, we can overcome our angst and get all the geeks we want through the magical ways of VR porn. And what is better than a threesome with two indescribably beautiful women who can’t help but crave for an erect penis, and who happen to be keen on the same fictional universes we love? What if they dress like beloved characters and are outspoken geeks just like us, or they completely immerse us in a fantasy universe where they worship and devour cocks? Argh, here we go with the reviews!

1.”Høbbitt The Desolation Of Cock” by Virtual Reality Bang

J.R.R. Tolkien’s novels are one of the most extensive, resourceful and imaginative representations of the Old English and early Germanic mythologies and folklore. All the mystical creatures from these lands are combined in two fundamental stories about love, war, struggle, virtue, and the victory of the good-natured underdog. Even if you never had the chance to read “The Lord of the Rings” or “The Hobbit”, it’s very likely that you know a lot about them from popular culture: films, cartoons, video games, other works that drew inspiration from Tolkien’s masterpieces, and now VR porn! The fact that we still talk about elves, hobbits, goblins, orcs, and druids is largely due to Tolkien’s encyclopedic works.

The film that I’m about to review, “The Desolation of Cock”, is obviously a parody of the first motion picture from the series, “The Desolation of Snaug”. The two gorgeous women involved in the action are obviously meant to represent Galadriel (the blonde Noldorin princess) and Tauriel (the wood-elf from Mirkwood). In the real film, the former is played by the glamorous and stylish Cate Blanchett, and the latter is portrayed by the beautiful Evangeline Lilly.

Screwing these beautiful ladies has been a fantasy of mine since 2001, when “The Fellowship of the Ring” was released. 15 years later, I can do it with VR Porn! Image Source: Virtual Reality Bang/VRPorn.com.

Correspondingly, their porn counterparts are equally beautiful and glamorous. And the action is lip-biting and toe-curling satisfying! If you’re a geek and you like women who don’t shy away from portraying some of your fantasies, then this is the film for you. It’s not like you can ever have sex with an elf woman, let alone two.

This VR porn production is derivative from the mythical healing power of the elvish, but also draws inspiration from the movie scene where the young hobbit Kili gets shot by an arrow, and Tauriel heals him with a mystical incantation. It doesn’t follow the events precisely and serves as much more of a re-imagining of the events depicted in the Hollywood film:

Tauriel (played by the beautiful redhead Anya Olsen) is a protective elvish who discovers that you (the hobbit protagonist) have been wounded by an arrow on the battlefield. She realizes that time is running short and your poor hobbit body may not endure the pain any longer and starts reciting an ancient healing incantation. While she’s chanting the undecipherable words, the blonde beauty Galadriel (played by the busty Courtney Taylor) approaches the scene and suggests that a different healing approach should be tested for your wounds: a kind of sexual healing that would leave Marvin Gaye speechless, impressed, and jealous!

Tauriel gets on top and starts riding you in cowgirl position while her blonde friend gently caresses her and makes sure that the healing procedure is completed as it should. Galadriel will carefully instruct her younger redhead friend and make sure that the pace and rhythm correspond to the descriptive writings of the ancients, the moans are uttered in the correct pattern and at the right time, and the position is reversed smoothly and like clockwork! As this process happens, despite the effect of the poisonous arrow, you just can’t help but feel overjoyed by the special treatment you’re receiving.

Tauriel is a little inexperienced, so her bustier blonde friend will check if the ritual was done properly by riding you hard. Image Source: Virtual Reality Bang

Once the procedure is completed and you must be cured by the sexual efforts of Tauriel, her busty blonde elf will make sure that the work is done properly. And there’s no better way to check than to perform the ritual herself: Galadriel will get on top of you and simultaneously feast on her friend’s pussy, thus demonstrating her extended experience and practiced proficiency.

After having been ridden by these gorgeous elvish, it’s impossible that their healing ritual hasn’t been completed. You come all over their beautiful faces and thank the gods that you have been saved properly and at the right time. The gallon of sticky semen you splash all over is the ultimate sign that proves the success of the healing ritual. You’re a truly blessed hobbit!

Anya Olsen plays the role of the innocent and loving Tauriel and she does an outstanding job while all the way through. The all-natural 22 year-old New York state resident compensates for her inexperience in the industry by delivering a truly stellar performance, with the right facial expressions and gestures to make us believe that we’re watching a deleted porn scene from the Hollywood movie! Standing at 5 foot 3 (1.60 m), she’s of the right size to look gorgeous in every position and take the pounding smoothly and graciously.

However, the true stunner of this film is Courtney Taylor, the sultry California girl who plays Galadriel. This busty stunner is exactly the spice that brings color and excitement to the act. If her partner looks innocent and caring towards the patient, she plays a more dominant, confident, and sensual role. Throughout the film, you will be overwhelmed by her moans and expressions of excitement and eagerness to get on top of you and take control of the situation. She is the yang to Anya’s yin and comes out as the driving force of kinkiness and raw sexuality of the film. I just couldn’t take my eyes off of her when she was in action! Courtney has a supermodel figure, stands at 5 foot 9 (1.75 m), and flaunts some of the most beautiful E-cup breasts I have ever seen.

When they look me in the eye like that, I feel healed already. Image Source: Virtual Reality Bang/VRPorn.com.

I have to say that everything about this film is spot-on, exciting, jaw-dropping and drool-inducing. The actresses put on an outstanding act and their portrayal of well-meaning elves who want to save a poor hobbit’s soul is somehow very believable and impressive. Furthermore, the costumes are surprisingly well-picked and could easily pass as wardrobe items from the set of the original film (The Hobbit). As a massive geek and a Tolkien fan, I’ve had my ultimate fix in terms of sexual satisfaction and filling of my geek-gasm barometer.

The action is steamy and satisfying, the filming and picture quality are absolutely great (I wouldn’t imagine that a poisoned hobbit with blurry vision would see the whole scene in shiny, bright and flashy HD, so the colder color tones are well-picked for the setting), the plot and acting are better than most of the porn I’ve watched in this lifetime, and this is the first VR film that I’m reviewing and I consider worthy of a 10/10 rating. I’m genuinely impressed and I wish these actresses would work together in many other productions in the future. I don’t care if they’re as geeky or not, they have a great chemistry together and really complete each other.

I highly recommend that you watch “The Desolation of Cock“, it’s the greatest VR porn experience I’ve ever had so far. Tune in next time for more geeky threesome film reviews!