VR Porn Short Reviews: Cunt Raider

Tomb Raider - A XXX Parody

Without a question, Lara Croft is the greatest female video game character of all time. She’s iconic, she’s the perfect combination between gorgeous looks, athleticism, and intelligence, and she’s pretty damn badass. Ever since Eidos released the first  “Tomb Raider” game in 1996, gaming enthusiasts everywhere have raved about her pixelated beauty and uncanny ability to surpass even the likes of Indiana Jones.

Lara Croft is so desirable among computer nerds that some people have even designed nude patches for the video games so that the beautiful digital protagonist would walk, jump, crawl, and fight in a lush state of beautiful nakedness. Some folks have gone to even greater lengths by creating pornographic fan art which depicts the adventurous Lara in situation and positions that many gamers have dreamed about, but were probably too shy to express themselves.

Lara Croft has been the subject of many gamers’ sexual fantasies. Now she’s all yours in an immersive VR experience! Image: VRCosplayX

Now that the latest game of the series, “Shadow of the Tomb Raider”, is out and available for video game enthusiasts to play, it’s only natural for the wild imagination of some perverted fans to once again run wild. Maybe that Lara Croft has been portrayed on the silver screen by a bunch of gorgeous actresses (most notably Angelina Jolie), but the number just can’t exceed all the adult versions. The secret power of the aristocratic adventurer is that of setting free the outlandish fantasies of masculine dreamers.

Additionally, there’s a well-known rule of the internet whose number is 34: if something exists, then there must exist some pornographic depiction of it. Luckily, this time we aren’t getting just some static and alienating two-dimensional flick, but an immersive, involving, and unexpectedly-satisfying VR adaptation which puts all of Lara’s big-dicked fans in a fantastically desirable position. Have you ever dreamed about having sex with Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft and feel all the satisfaction? Well, this is your chance!

“Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody” by VRCosplayX

For quite a while now, VRCosplayX has been the premium studio for incredible geeky adaptations of famous pop culture phenomena which involve gorgeous women. So if we’ve even seen Super Mario’s Princess Peach getting nailed by big plumber dick, it was only a matter of time until Lara Croft received the same kind of treatment. As a matter of fact, since we’ve seen all sorts of obscure characters from video games like Dino Crisis, it’s safe to say that this launch was long overdue.

Maybe the biggest challenge that the folks at VRCosplayX face is that of finding the right lady to look like the character she’s playing and have the right kind of attitude. It’s pretty easy to put a costume on a gorgeous pornstar, but in this type of geeky adult entertainment accuracy and faithfulness to the original design is the only key to success.

You assume the perfect casting doesn’t exist until you see Alyssia Kent as Lara Croft. Image: Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody

In this particular case, they chose the Romanian actress Alyssia Kent to play the part of the legendary Lara Croft – and for the most part, they have done a tremendous job! This version of Lara looks like the adventurer we know and love from the late 1990s, and maybe that this is a more fitting tribute to the legacy of the Tomb Raider series than a replica of the darker look from Crystal Dynamics’ latest trilogy. The producers have chosen that classic and instantly-recognizable look from the early games not only because it’s lusher, but also because the well-rounded shape of Alyssia’s body is more fitting to this type of aesthetic.

Ms. Kent is a perfectly-balanced stunner who has all the right curves in all the right places: she has a gorgeous pair of all-natural B-cup breasts and a rounded ass that will make you forget all about your fantasy for that Lara Croft in the video game. You want Alyssia and you want her now!

This adaptation is rather unusual but unexpectedly satisfying.

How do you write a story in which you actually get to meet and have sex with Lara Croft? Well, the easiest way is to create a world in which she is working with you and falls for your charms. But the disadvantage of this approach is that you must create a character for the male protagonist, which may take away from the authenticity of the experience.

It’s time to stop playing with Lara, as she plays with herself and then plays with your dick. Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody

The folks at VRCosplayX have approached the issue differently: they thought “What if you were playing the video game and Lara simply stepped into your living room for a raunchy round of hardcore sex?”. That sounds wild and it may break the fourth wall (or create a state where you don’t differentiate between what is real and what is a video game… while being immersed in a VR experience), but it works best.

In the first moments of the VR porn, you will see yourself sitting in a chair inside a large classy room which looks a lot like something you’d expect from the Croft Manor. You’re holding a controller in your hands, and the ever-stunning and seductive Lara Croft (as portrayed by Alyssia Kent) is running around the room according to the way you press the buttons. This is rather strange at first, but soon enough Lara breaks the fourth wall and starts talking to you. The immersive simulation within the VR experience has just gotten more interesting.

As it turns out, Ms. Croft is tired of all the running around and wants to have some fun with you. Luckily, you happen to be the owner of a big hard cock and that’s all it takes to make a gorgeous brunette like her happy.

With that big artifact in your pants, Lara is ready to let you raid her tight tomb.

This artifact reference is perhaps the cheesiest line that you could hear in a virtual reality porn like this, but it works like magic. Furthermore, Alyssia Kent is a consummate professional who’s well-versed in the art of blowjobbing and titty fucking. You won’t believe your eyes how kinky this petite little brunette can be, but simultaneously you’ll be aroused by all the small details which make her look a lot more like Lara Croft: from the utility belt and backpack, and all the way to the tight blue top, short panties and hairdo, it all looks authentic and kinky.

Your big artifact is exactly what the tight Lara Croft is searching for. Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody

The blowjob and titty fuck alone can be enough for most video gamers who may have been waiting for this moment since 1996. However, it doesn’t end here: Lara asks you to rip off her panties with your strong hands, so she can get on top of a cabinet and masturbate right in front of you. While she rubs her pussy and moans hard, you will feel teased and in the right mood to take this perverted aristocrat on a bumpy ride.

Luckily, Lara Croft wants all of your dick and there is nothing in this world that can stop her from getting her much sought-after orgasms. At first, she will ride you in both cowgirl variations to show her overzealousness to get penetrated hard, but then she will submit to your beastly will in a relentless round of doggystyle fucking. It all looks and feels too good to be true because it is. You’re watching every video gamer’s ultimate fantasy and you can’t help but feel every nerve in your body getting tingled by the outstanding performance of Alyssia Kent. This is exactly what you have been missing all these years.

“Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody” is much more than you could dream of doing with Lara Croft. Final Verdict: 9.8/10.

In 30 minutes, VRCosplayX manages to deliver what might just be the greatest Lara Croft-themed adult film of all time. It’s intense, it’s atmospheric, it’s gorgeous, it’s very well-written, and it has so much more than gamers have dreamed of in their teenage years. The best part is that the make-up, costumes, and decorations are so spot-on and so Croft Manor-ish that the familiarity will trigger the ultimate degree of immersion.

This is a serious contender to the merit of being the greatest Tomb Raider porn adaptation ever. Alyssia Kent as Lara Croft is stellar! Tomb Raider – A XXX Parody

The gorgeous Alyssia Kent has it all and delivers with grace and kinky filthiness one of the best sexual performances you’ll see in any Tomb Raider-related porn. However, he the only issue is the acting: she doesn’t deliver the lines with the same kind of accent you might expect from Lara, and part of the charm is lost whenever she has to speak in order to move on to the story. She looks like Lara Croft, has sex in ways that the video game character probably never will, but doesn’t manage to immerse us with her witty adventurer lines.

Other two minor issues involve the lack of missionary sex (which was probably taken out for practical reasons, as there is no bed around the room and the floor looks pretty hard) and the absence of anal sex. The latter might sound a little far-fetched in the context, but the raven-haired European has done it before in VR in “The Landlady Soap Opera“. So knowing that the entire experience could have been elevated with some anal and not having it in the context of what might be the best Lara Croft porn ever can be a slight disappointment.

Otherwise, everything about this film is nearly perfect. The pacing of events, the unbearable tease you have to go through during the masturbation scene, the insatiable blowjob scene, and the incredibly intense doggy style screwing are all memorable moments that will help you get the immersive Lara Croft hardcore sex experience you’ve only seen in your wildest dreams. The best part about it is that thanks to VRCosplayX, it’s available for you to watch in VR at any time.