All Mode
After having completed a rather extensive review on the excellent Hobbit-inspired film “The Desolation of Cock” (the first title to score a perfect 10 in these series), it’s time to move on and set our eyes on some more good stuff that makes our inner and outer geeks orgasm – and also involves stunningly-beautiful actresses who play geeky roles! Ladies and gents, welcome to the 6th episode of VR Porn Threesome Reviews: The Geek Menace!
Ever since “Rogue One” hit the cinemas, this holiday season seems to be all about Star Wars. That’s right, since Disney acquired the franchise and realized its huge sales potential (which magically encompasses a hardcore community of know-it-alls who could write PhD theses on the story of Anakin Skywalker, as well as a wide audience of casual fans who like watching lightsaber fights and plots involving small rebel groups that fight against an almighty empire), now we get a new film every year.
Star Wars is a great source of inspiration for everything, including VR Porn! Image Source: VirtualRealPorn
It might seem to be a desperate attempt to cash on people’s fandom and their tendency to spend money recklessly during the holiday season, but there’s also a bright side in this story about corporate greed, and it’s deeply rooted in rule #34 of the internet: for every major film release, there are also porn productions that capitalize on the momentum and tell the sexual side-story that the Hollywood studios weren’t allowed to. In our particular case, there are two VR porn films about Star Wars: one of them is a glorious threesome, and the other one takes a step ahead and adds a third lady in order to have a heavenly foursome.
I know that the title of the series is “threesomes”, but for the sake of convenience (and to avoid creating a spin-off for a limited niche) let’s consider that the other girl is a bonus… or better yet, forget about counting how many girls are pleasuring your virtual penis and just enjoy the action.
Now that the excuse to review a title with 3 girls has been made (and hopefully accepted), let’s move on to the titles!
1. “Convention Day” by Virtual Real Porn
Millions of people around the world pay homage to George Lucas’ epic universe one way or another: they dress as various characters from the films, reference scenes on the t-shirts they wear, and even use memorable quotes during day-to-day conversations. Some of them are called “cosplayers”, while others are just massive geeks who know a lot more than their appearance suggests. Luckily, there’s a place where all of them, regardless of their favorite fantasy world or preferred way to show their superfandom, and it’s called Comic Con.
And this is what this story is all about: two beautiful geeky ladies have decided to attend Comic Con, they’re such big fans of Star Wars that they wear R2-D2 one-piece suits and attend the panel of their favorite movie franchise. But this is just the basic part that you know at the beginning. What you’re about to find out is that you’re dealing with a pair of bisexual hotties who know exactly what they want: they return from the Comic Con panel of their favorite franchise and want to tell you all about it. “You should have come, it was amazing”, says the beautiful green-eyed brunette Amber Nevada. However, she knows that there are more pleasuring activities in life than dressing in a geeky suit and supporting your favorite movie franchise, and they involve taking off that suit, calling your gorgeous redhead friend, and engaging in some steamy threeway sex!
What do you think about these Star Wars outfits? Image Source: VirtualRealPorn
The action takes place in a small apartment room, and everything escalates quickly, as you switch from the regret of not being able to attend the convention with Amber to the outspoken joy of receiving a double blowjob from two of the most beautiful ladies you’ve ever laid eyes on. And keep in mind that this isn’t just another boring straight-forward film in which the porn actresses take their clothes off in an instant and do the job they are being paid for with a professionalism that keeps every kind of emotion concealed.
What feels very genuine and exciting is the affection that the two ladies share when they tenderly kiss, caress each other and compete while sucking on your hard virtual schlong. The moments they share together are the strongest asset of this film and makes up for the lack of hardcore action. The ending will also feature a stronger emphasis on the lesbian intercourse, as the Amber and Amarna will carry on with their warm and moist kisses while stroking you faster and harder until you come. The R2 droids have once again delivered!
The green-eyed Spanish doll Amber Nevada plays the lead character and maintains a more dominant role throughout the film. Her supermodel figure (5 foot 7/1.70 m and 121 lbs/55 kg) coupled with her tiny A-cup breasts will certainly mesmerize you and make you wish R2-D2 from the original Star Wars trilogy was such a stunner. When she tells you that she wishes you came with her at the convention, she’s not just playing a role: if you check the lady’s filmography you will see she is a genuine geek too!
The petite blue-eyed redhead Amarna Miller is a veteran of the VR porn genre and she is known to star in some of the most exciting productions – she even directed some films too! Her role is a bit more passive, but she knows just how to shine in her moments: when she first steps into the scene and lies on the couch masturbating while watching her friend perform a blowjob, there’s just something about the way she moves that will make you stare at her and desire for her sexual assistance. Her Spanish accent is also really sensual and will transport you into a world of sheer pleasure and sensuality.
Overall, the film is pretty good: the plot is straight-forward and fulfills its geeky purpose, the picture quality is incredible, but it’s the performances that truly shine. It’s not enough to be told that you’re getting your cock sucked by horny geeks, you also have to feel it in the way the ladies act. And for the reasons mentioned throughout this review, “Convention Day” gets a 8.5 out of 10 for being able to deliver pleasant shivers down your spine and induce rock-hard erections.
2. “Rogue Cum” by Virtual Real Porn
As for this article’s main event, we have the first ever foursome reviewed as a part of the series – of which I am not sure if it will be an exception for the sake of completing the Star Wars Special, or the beginning of a brand extension (I suppose it’s up to your feedback to decide).
Anyway, this new production is a parody of the newly-launched “Rogue One” and features three of the hottest European actresses of the moment who were assigned Star Wars character roles: the super tall British amazon Ava Koxxx is dressed like Princess Leia Morgana, the petite all-natural French stunner Anissa Kate interprets a female version of Darth Vader, and the Polish blonde beauty Misha Cross plays the role of an obedient imperial Stormtrooper.
Screwing a busty female Darth Vader while Princess Leia Morgana and a horny lady Stormtrooper watch? This is the kind of experience you can only get in VR porn! Image Source: VirtualRealPorn/VRPorn.com.
The Star Wars fantasy that fans have had for longer than 4 decades is finally coming to life and, thanks to the awesome VR technology, it looks more alive than ever! Though we never really thought about Darth Vader as a French-accented busty lady with a pretty face, this geeky wet dream is taken to greater lengths we might have ever imagined!
The plot itself doesn’t take itself too seriously and there really isn’t anything to worry about in case you still haven’t watched Rogue One in cinemas: you won’t find any pieces of dialogue or events that can potentially give away details from the Disney Lucasfilm production. In fact, the story seems to be much more of a re-imagining of the events from “The Return of the Jedi”, since Princess Leia Koxxx wears a golden leash-looking collar that is reminiscent to the one Jabba the Hutt tied her in. Also, it’s worth mentioning that this film is all about the action. Though there are certain attempts to play the roles, it all vanishes as soon as the sexual fun begins.
Unlike most VR porn films, the perspective changes and you can actually see the rebel protagonist you will portray in the beginning: the opening scene is presented from the point of view of a captured Princess Leia, and you can see how Darth Vader and the faithful Stormtrooper capture a male who’s dressed in rebel clothes.
A blowjob from Princess Leia is what dreams are made of – except that all you need for this one is a VR headset! Image Source: VirtualRealPorn/VRPorn.com.
There is a certain degree of hilarity in this scene, as the French accent of Darth Vader completely contrasts the imposing presence of the beloved villain, the lightsaber and the Stormtrooper’s rifle are obviously made of plastic, and the force choke movement that Anissa performs is somehow cute. You can tell from the very beginning that the production team hasn’t really tried to reenact or create a remote sense of realism (unlike the excellent Hobbit film from the previous article): which makes the film either a parody or the result of a very low budget whose largest part was probably spent on paying the actresses. The costumes aren’t convincing either, and they almost seem like they improvised on the spot, or each actress was told to bring something from her own wardrobe. Neither Darth Vader, nor the Stormtrooper have their helmets or masks, and the improvised face paint is a choice that might turn away some hardcore Star Wars fans. As a matter of fact, the decisions made in terms of costumes and accessories are rather poor and take away the legitimacy of this fantasy intercourse. Furthermore, the acting doesn’t clearly suggest the delimitation of roles: I’m not sure if it was done on purpose, but there is no specific tension between the characters. The fact that you can see the actresses smile and enjoy the action like it’s a happy film with no plot definitely takes away a lot from the immersion in this pornographic depiction of George Lucas’ universe. Therefore, from a Star Wars geek’s point of view, the production is a bad joke.
Thankfully, the intercourse itself makes up for every drawback mentioned above.
The three ladies will tease you, caress each other, ride you and suck your hard penis in turns, and rub each other’s clitoris with excitement. In terms of performance, they are great and know how to play the roles of horny women who need their fix from a meat pole, but also enjoy the presence of other like-minded ladies. Anissa will, however, act like she is the dominant character in the scene since she rides you most, while Ava Koxxx will perform the lengthiest blowjobs, thus demonstrating the submissiveness of a captured woman. Or maybe that I’m just overthinking it and try to find meaning in something that is intended to be straight-forward.
The film had the potential to be truly stellar, but fell flat due to the cheap costumes, props, and lack of effort to actually play the characters. Which is a shame, this Darth Vader is really hot! Image Source: VirtualRealPorn
I’ve really enjoyed watching the film, but somehow there always seemed to be small elements and details that felt like complete turn-offs. Which is a shame, in a film involving these three beauties you shouldn’t be analyzing the props, the background, and laugh at the cheap costumes and plastic arms. Also, there should be some tension between Darth Vader and Leia, not just a few forced lines. Some competition between them would have been a lot better, but instead we received a regular foursome with a (plastic or painted) Star Wars wrapping. Had the enactment been done properly, the experience would have been truly stellar, since these actresses have a lot to offer as sex performers and they’re some of the most beautiful in the business.
In the end, I have to give this film a disappointing 7 out of 10. The studio should have tried a little harder with the representation of one of the most beloved franchises of all time. Maybe that my expectations have been raised by the fact that I previously reviewed the excellent Hobbit-themed fantasy threesome, but I just couldn’t find the proper enjoyment in this scene. I may be an over-analyzing nerd who can’t get over a few minor details and enjoy films for what they are, but this is my final verdict: a disappointment with a lot of potential in terms of story-telling, dialogue, interactions between characters, and props.
Until the next episode of the series, please let me know what you think about these two geeky Star Wars-themed productions. May the force of VR porn be with you!
I’m not a fan of the newest Star Wars, but I don’t mind these versions 🙂
I thought ”Rogue One” was unexpectedly good. However, I still prefer this porn version for rainy days 😉