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Allow Me To Introduce Myself
I knew at a very young age that there was something special about the combination of technology and pornography. The two concepts just seemed to go together like peanut butter and jelly for me. When I was about nine years old I shared a room and a computer with my older brother. One night I laid in bed pretending to be asleep until I was sure that my brother was in a deep slumber. Then I got out of my bed and turned on our old windows 95 desktop. I navigated over to the MS Paint program, opened it up, and painted a giant pair of boobies. The painting wasn’t a work of art like Francisco de Goya’s “The Nude Maja” but I marveled at my accomplishment. The more I starred at the painted breasts on the screen the more I wished those giant knockers would come alive and bounce around right in front of me. This fantasy has become more than a reality for me thanks to the invention of VR Porn. My name is Adam Mitty but you can just call me the critic and It will be my sincerest pleasure to bring you the best reviews on the latest VR Porn videos.
Image credit: Francisco de Goya
Why The Critic?
So you might be asking yourself, ” if you like VR Porn so much , why be a dick and critic it”. Well my dear reader it is because without standards and criticism pushing studios forward we would be forced to settle for whatever piece of crap VR Porno they wanted to throw at us. I for one can not Idly stand by and let this unjust scenario become a reality. No, I will fight for you and the dreams of every person wanting to know what it would be like to have sex with Riley Reid. You see pornography has evolved beyond being for just horny teenage boys building right arm muscles. That group of viewers would think that my childhood boob painting was good enough to choke their chicken to. However, today we have more refined masturbators. Men and yes women too who deserve quality pornography productions. This is where I will come in and make sure that these men and women are getting the best of the best. The VR experience is the future of how we are going to watch porn and I plan on delivering the most honest reviews to push the VR Porn Studios forward.
Image Credit: Adobe Stock
What Makes You The Expert?
I am not only a porn enthusiast but I am a film fanatic as well. I love film so much that I went out and got my bachelors degree in digital cinematography from the prestigious film school Full Sail University. It was here that I learned the art of film. I can do everything from writing a script, to directing, editing, and even post production special effects work. I know what it takes to make a film and further more I know what it takes to make a great film. Even though pornography is not the same type of film entertainment as your everyday blockbuster, the fundamentals for success are all still there. The building blocks to making any type of good film are as follows; plot, dialogue, acting, and cinematography. Pornography films are no different in this area. Each one of the building blocks are vital aspects to making a good porno flick. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to suggest that the plot of a porno should be as complex as that of a movie like Inception or that the dialogue should be able to compete to that of The King’s Speech. However, they do have a style of their own that should meet certain standards. For example you can only watch so many porno’s about a guy banging the babysitter. After a while you are so bored with the cliche plot that you are questioning if the guy even really has kids at all.
Image Credit: J Photo Style
The Outline Of My Reviews.
So with all of that said, I will be writing my reviews of each VR Porn I watch with those things in mind. I will rate the plot of porno and let you know if it tells a good, bad, cliche, or no story at all. Then I will do a thorough break down of dialogue/dirty talk in each film. I will proceed to give an in depth analysis of acting skill of the Pornstars and rate their hotness. Afterwards I will give you a run through of the quality of the VR. This will include criticism on things like framing, lighting, setting, definition, and angles. Finally I will give the film its overall rating taking in to consideration each factor for the final score. If the video is lucky enough it will earn the very coveted five breasts rating.
Image Credit: Adam Mitty
Until Next Time.
I hope that you have enjoyed getting to learn a little bit about me and the exciting VR Porn reviews that I will be sharing with you soon. Please follow my blogs as they are released here on vrporn.com, the best source for your virtual reality porn needs. At the very least you’ll want to make sure you check out my overall rating of each video that way you don’t waste any of your very valuable time and lotion on a bad VR porn experience. You can also leave comments with your thoughts on my reviews. As well as, comment suggestion on which vr porn videos you would like to see me review next. Be on the look out for my first official vr porn review coming soon. Featuring a threesome with some very attractive ladies and true tales of my balls being sucked by a hot Russian teenager. So as we say our goodbyes for now, I want you to know I am wishing that you have multiple orgasms and a wonderful virtual reality day.
With Love,
The Critic
BTW I love the “coveted 5 breasts” rating haha
Thank you fellow boob enthusiast 😀
Looking forward to your future reviews! There’s so many options nowadays, it’s hard to choose where to start.
You are absolutely right, the world of porn is constantly growing and providing us with what can seem to be an overload of options. I will do my best to help point you in the right direction of quality and help you avoid the worthless options.
lol at the 5 boobs rating system, or is that 10?
What an excellent question. I went with the 5 breasts rating because it allowed for a total of 10 boobs. This way I can give a porno a rating of lets say 3 and 1/2 breasts. which would be a total of 7 boobs 🙂